When it comes to your birth, it’s important to get on the same page about it with your partner. You want to experience your birth without any disconnect that might occur if you two don’t have the same understanding. Sometimes we might want different things in a relationship.
Different experiences affect everyone differently. When a family has already experienced birth as less than blissful, approaching the next birth is often a cause of friction and stress.
There is an adjusting to everybody’s needs.
A great way to get on the same page with your partner is by really communicating deeply. This also means listening deeply as well. Feeling deeply into what is going on for them and what issues and feelings are arising about the birth.
Try this exercise.
Set a timer on your phone and allow each person five to ten minutes to completely express anything and everything that is going on for them around the coming birth and the choices that need to be made.
This enables that type of deep listening I referred to before.
Avoid any counterarguments and interruptions. Just listen.
The way you resolve this issue and how you communicate with each other about the birth choices is pivotal in how you go on into your relationship and your parenting of your child. There are many benefits to getting it right. Birth deeply matters to everyone involved.
The baby, the mother, the father, and other birth partners. I believe it matters to society as a whole. Birth partners are often shunted to the side because the needs of the mother are primary. If you look at the statistics, it’s clear that traumatic births deeply affect men, fathers, secondary birth partners alike.
If you are healing from a birth trauma chances are, your birth partner is too. You might come across choices that are oppositional. I encourage you to explore what’s behind those choices. What fears are coming up? What unmet needs are presenting themselves? Can you create space for that beyond making the actual choice?
Feel into what’s arising.
What are the primal longings you are experiencing? What are those very deep needs underneath all the surface stuff? As you listen, as this stuff gets out and into the open, it’s released and so it will have less impact on the actual birth. The aim is to let go of these during pregnancy or even before pregnancy. Communicate with each other. Ask the question of how can you work together to create more trust.
Trust in birth, trust in the body, trust in each other, and in the big unknown that birth is. What can you do together, to develop that trust and to brave the unknown that birth is? Birth is quite a journey. It’s a wonderful opportunity to get to know yourself and each other a lot better.
The time during pregnancy is precious and transformative.
Work on things that are going on for you and things that are happening within your relationship. There’ll be precious little time for that after the baby arrives. The real work is within. How you feel, how good you feel, how prepared you are, how ready you are, as you are approaching birth is the defining factor.
I want to empower you with some tools and prepared you more for getting on the same page around birth with your partner without the disconnect. Sign up here to join me for a free online workshop I held, called Your Next Birth on Your Terms.
It’s half presentation, half process with three mini processes; mini exercises to help get you ready for birth ~ on the inside.